For my whole life I did not feel any special. There was always something missing. Finding my own style is like living a secret love that has finally come to the surface. I may look completely different, but I have discovered myself.
Die deutsche Version des Beitrags findest du hier: Die Suche nach sich selbst – warum mein eigener Stil mein ganzes Leben verändert hat.
For a long time, I had the feeling I was not really being myself. During my teenage years at school my wardrobe mostly resembled earth tones.
I was too insecure, did not want anybody to look at me or stand out of the crowd. Dresses or skirts were way too daring for me. It took time until senior classes when I finally started my interest in fashion. As a student I moved to a bigger city. Suddenly I had loads of clothing stores around. So many possibilities to buy, to try out different looks or to find fashion examples. I became one girl in the mass, one out of many.
After finding my own style I noticed: I never really felt complete in my appearance.
Looking “mainstream” is not wrong at all (and what does mainstream actually mean?)! But this still wasn’t truly me. I did not dress the way I wished, I dressed more the way the girls looked on the streets, in the stores, in the magazines.
When chinos with blazers and ballerinas were popular, I wore them. When maxi skirts and jeans blouses were in, I wore them. When Ethno prints were in fashion, I wore them. Every time I went to a party or an event I asked my friends what they would wear, wondered how the other guests would dress, to simply look like them and not to stand out from the crowd.
When there where hot summer days, I did not know how to dress. I did not want to show too much of my legs, but it was too warm to wear long trousers. Hotpants or mini skirts were never my taste, but I did not really find alternatives that I loved.
In these typical Zara, H&M and Co. outfits I did not feel any special, there was always something missing. I liked pretty clothes, I liked female styles, but was not sure how to translate it into my looks. At present I have the feeling that I need to catch up all the years that I hid in my potato coloured jumpers and uncomfortable jeans.
Your passion is always there, you only need to bring it to the surface.
After the past three years of living my passion, it all makes sense to me now. Why I studied the history of arts, why I always loved watching old movies and admired Audrey Hepburn’s dresses in My Fair Lady, why I loved spending hours with my grandma looking at her old pictures and listening to the stories of her childhood. I always had a love for museums, for history, for architecture and old books.
Recapitulating all these little indications I see that my passion for vintage styles has always been there, I just simply did not notice it, did not let this admiration come to the surface. But I promise, sooner or later your inner self won’t allow you to cover what is inside you, one day it needs to get out and be lived up.
What is it that is always surrounding you? What is it that is attracting your attention wherever you go, that you are secretly dreaming about when you are surfing on the internet, browsing through books and magazines? What are the little things, the little themes that are repeating themselves in your everyday life?
Remember – there are always little hints that can show you the way.
Picture by Kristian Scheffler Fotografie, 1930s makeup by Lisagie.
Don’t hesitate, even when you are different. This is not a masquerade, this is your inner self.
There is one thing I need to tell you before you decide to be “different”: People stare. But let me tell you another thing: You don’t care! It’s normal to attract attention as a red dot in a black crowd. But you feel so comfortable and self-confident in your own personal look that this doesn’t matter to you at all.
“Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded. Tell them to put on some sunglasses, cuz we were born this way bitch!” Lady Gaga.
Strangers on the street ask me, why I hide myself behind makeup. I do not hide! This makeup makes me the person I want to be and the person I feel on the inside. I feel more myself with hair and makeup done than without. Not because it’s a masquerade, simply because it’s my lifestyle.
Many of you know already that I am having fighting depression for some years now, also a chronical autoimmune disease – I am talking about these themes on my Instagram page more often. To me this vintage world is also a way to deal with these problems. When I am not feeling well I am taking more time to style myself. It helps me to gain strength step by step, to get myself together, prepare and concentrate before leaving the house.
One decision can start a chain reaction.
It is amazing how much has changed since I was finding my own style and started to go a different way. It is not only my wardrobe, it is my whole life.
With freeing myself from stereotypic clothing I also stopped living a stereotypic career. I do not want to fit into a job scheme as much as I do not want to fit into way too uncomfortable and tight skinny jeans. I need go my own way. No tight jeans, no tight rules.
“Follow your inner moonlight, don’t hide the madness.” Allen Ginsberg.
Step by step I reorganised my whole wardrobe. Modern, mass produced clothing went online for sale or to charity organisations (never throw away your intact clothes, there is always someone happy to wear them!). My taste in music changed, my taste in movies, even the interior of our home is starting to become more and more vintage. My focus in life has changed completely. I care a lot more about fair fashion and fair productions, about environmental friendly living.
Can you imagine how relaxing it is to stroll through your hometown, passing all the fashion store windows and not wishing for any of the displayed items? The only shop windows that make me swoon nowadays are the ones of bookstores. I finally concentrate on totally different things!
Lisa from Lisagie is such a talented makeup artist. I love how she styled me in a 1930s inspired old Hollywood look. In this blogpost I show you step by step, how we created the makeup: „1930s makeup – about fair complexions and thin eyebrows“.
The bangles belonged to my mum and the hoop earrings are by Bow & Crossbones.
Surround yourself with people that inspire you, not bring you down.
During the months that my diseases became worse, I had to let go some of my closest friends. I don’t know if they simply could not deal with the situation, or whether I was a burden for them. This does not matter anymore, because I learned one very important lesson from these experiences: You need to surround yourself with good people.
I always used to be extremely insecure when it came to meeting new people. Even days before a new event I was so scared. “Oh what will they think of me, do I behave in a correct way, will I fit into the group? “
Nowadays, my own looks give me enough self-confidence to say: “I do not need to fit in any group. And yes, they will take me serious, simply because of my confident appearance!”
The persons you spend your time with have a huge impact on your own life. Their mindsets can inspire you and help you becoming a better person, or they can bring you down. Have a look at this great Huffington Post article, which explains wonderfully how positive people can enrich your life.
“Remember that like attracts like. You have to give off positive vibes and be confident. You also have to be yourself. This will lead you to the people that are right for you”, Huffington Post.
So when I started my blog I got to know so many amazing, talented and positive people. We learn from each other, we help each other, or we simply listen to each other when someone needs an open, supporting ear. And the amazing thing is, some of them I do not even know in person! We met online, through blogging, we share the same love, taste and passion, the same goals, and that is what is connecting us so closely. These truly are the people that bring you forward. And they have such a big impact on your own mindset.
I am so thankful for all these precious persons I got to meet throughout the past three years. This is for you all, whether it’s Sophia, Lisa, Christin, Madlen, Manja and all the other amazing strong ladies, and of course my love, who is a business founder himself and inspires me every day with his never-ending optimism and drive.
To me this look is much more feminine and beautiful than a mini skirt or low decolletée. The beautiful 30s / 40s inspired swing trousers are from one of my favourite online boutiques – Topvintage*. The beautiful location is the opera of Leipzig.
After feeling dressed up and costumed all the years now I finally feel myself. And this is the most amazing emotion: To find out who you are, who you want to be and what makes you feel self confident and comfortable.
Since I was finding my own style people are taking me much more seriously now – as a person, as a woman. I may look completely different, but I am being myself. And in the end, this is all that matters.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher.
Further posts about vintage styles:
Every real story is a NeverEnding Story: A love letter to Ende’s books
A night at the Opera – Glamorous Vintage Styles for a magical winter world
Autumn Vibes, Vintage Styles and Ladies Meetup – Welcome to Revival Retro London
*In this post I used affiliate links. In case you buy something via these links I will get a small percentage of the profit. This does not change anything for you, it simply helps me to maintain my website and keep it free from banners.